


New World

by ShatteredAria



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-01
Updated: 2015-11-01
Packaged: 2018-04-29 08:16:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,451
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5121332
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ShatteredAria/pseuds/ShatteredAria
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Forever is like an eternity and both don’t exist in this reality, but whenever I’m with you those weren’t just mere words but my actuality.</p>
            </blockquote>





	New World

**Author's Note:**

> This is not related to the manga arc and there no facts in here so this is just pure fiction that I've written a year ago.  
> I just feel like sharing :)  
> Please do enjoy! and please forgive all the typos and errors.

Forever is like an eternity and both don’t exist in this reality, but whenever I’m with you those weren’t just mere words but my actuality.

 

The cage is gone, the predators vanished. We can freely roam the world once forsake from us. This scent of air really differs from what I smelled inside the walls. I did journey outside, but this isn’t the same scent. It was the scent of anger, depression, worries above all, fear. Those numerous sacrifices weren’t pointless as almost everyone implied, it was heroic. Ever since we venture outside the walls all we can hear were: _How many would die today? Foolish bastards. You’re just fattening those titans. You’re just an easy meat. Is there all my taxes going? On those fucking titans stomachs? Lunatics._ Now the Titans were eliminated, our troops are called heroes. Everyone dreams became reality. Including yours, the one who dreamt this most. You gained your reality and I lost mine…

**_A Month Ago Before the New World._ **

It was raining hard. Every drop felt like knives piercing through my skin. The operation already ceased and it was called Humanity’s victory. Even it was our victory the forest was just filled with cathartic silence. Only the downpour and the brisk wind were audible. The scent should only be the leaves and the trees, but no, it was mixed with blood and the breeze delivered this distressing scent around the area. I was standing still on the ground with a strong grip to my blades as if I am anticipating an attack from a titan. My hands were smeared with Titan’s blood and watched it as it evaporates and it did form a vapor that died out eventually.

“Captain Levi,” someone called and I lift my head and saw this blonde young man soaking wet, the green cape that was now impossible to flutter was now sticking to his small-framed body. His eyes spoke with urgency yet it was like he just played it off. I sheathe my blades and once our gaze met he saluted and reported. He reported that Eren Yeager of Squad 3 started to berserk. Commander Erwin Smith asked for assistance. And by the assistance he meant, another operation must commence. The operation once planned before this Titan Eradication Operation, the operation that once planned ever since Eren Yeager was put on my Squad.

“Captain, please,” The urgency he tried to mask slowly vanished and pleading was pretty evident on his pale face and I know what he meant.

The forest roared. Someone screamed. It wasn’t someone scream. That was _his_ scream, his scream of agony. Armin Arlert gasped again and I saw that he was fighting to hold back his tears that he started to lift his head and looked at the gray skies. “Captain, please,” he said again as he looked skyward, meeting those heavy drops of rain on his face.

I tapped his shoulder and he hastily glanced at me with those round blue eyes that were suddenly filled with hope, taking my action as his affirmation and in there, an unwritten contract had formed between us.

“Thank you Captain Levi. I am forever in your debt.” Armin Arlert said and saluted with tears he tried to hold back now rolled down to his face.

_I left unsigned our unwritten contract._

I mounted my gear, and reeled from tree to tree, and every time I fired the grapple hooks, those screams were becoming more distinct and a huge part of me starting to lose control. String of memories came together as the hooks fired.

“I don’t care if you’ll slice me off. Just be gentle,” you said and tried to laugh. That was your line every time we scouted outside the walls. “In fact, I am happy if you’re the one who will do _it._ ” But every damn time you spoke like that there was always this underlying impression of yours, _I don’t want to die. Not yet._ Why are you so ardent to speak those words, but you can’t actually mean it? That was my question for the first couple of times I heard it from you, but now I understand what you really meant by _those._

“Hey Captain Levi!”You ran towards me as if I am one of your dearest friends. “Armin talked again about the salt water.” You started to talk even without consent and you didn’t even salute. That’s how reckless you are.“What it is called again?” You tried to remember.“Ah, sea!” And you remembered.“And you know what? It was full of salt!” I was surprised by that story of yours because it wasn’t plausible and you laugh as if you saw my surprise or maybe you enjoy that moment. God knew. “It is unlimited! Or maybe not unlimited, just plentiful! It is big, endless, and vast and not only that, there’s a fire-water, a continent of ice even a snowfield of sand! And it is quite a scene don’t you think Captain Levi?!” Your eyes were glistening with amazement and waiting eagerly for me to agree. I didn’t agree, or maybe I did.

“Levi!” I was snapped out of my reverie. Erwin called me out with the same authoritative tone and I put a halt on my reeling and I aimed at the tree from where he stood and fired the hooks and swung towards the branch of the tree and landed beside him.

From way up here, I saw his Titan-formed seated on the damp land, leaning on a tree lifelessly. They immobilize him to prevent him from attacking relentlessly. It would take some time for him to regenerate again.

Mikasa Ackerman begging was pretty audible and unceasing. She stood firmly on the shoulder of Eren’s Titan body, constantly pleading his foster brother to revert back to his human form. She begged incessantly: _‘Please come back, you’re my only family. Please Eren’_

Eren screamed and the forest roared again. Mikasa fumbled and outbalanced herself, but she recovered in a flash and fired her hooks on Eren’s neck, regaining her balance.

“Mikasa get off there! It’s dangerous!” Jean Kirstein shouted from below. His blades were already held tightly from his hands, ready to attack, but that was only a part of his bravado, he was trembling. I know, he can’t kill Eren. If he can, Erwin will never call me out.

“EREN IS NOT DANGEROUS!”Mikasa shouted and being that kind of girl who can keep her emotion in check no matter what happens, she now can’t. Not every time Eren was in danger.

I swung my Three Dimensional Maneuver Gear towards Jean and caught him said, “I know that, but that wasn’t Eren anymore,” Eren lose it, is what he was trying to say.

“Captain Levi,” he regarded me.

“Kirstein, back off. Join Hanji,” I ordered him, but he recoiled.

“No, I will join you,” He retorted, stood firm on his word as if keeping me away from their comrade, away from their friend.

“You can’t and you know it.”

“Are you out of your mind?! You’ll kill him?!” His face looked as if he was ridiculed by me. “ _Captain?!_ ” His addendum had a stark mockery.

“Connie, Sasha takes Jean away from here!”

He protested, but I already mounted off and fired the hooks on Eren’s titan body. Mikasa sees me stride towards her. Her face is a messed. Tears damp her whole face, her eyes are swollen, but she _is_ still crying. Her shoulder is rising, then falling in split seconds. She breathes heavenly and God knows she can’t handle it anymore.

“Mid—get,” she tries not to choke and she fails, “Get—a—way f—rom he—re,” she says, choking every letter she enounce.

I ignore her, I aim toward his nape and fire the hook and reel over there.

Mikasa yelps “CAPTAIN! PLEASE!” Her voice cracks, she is hurting. I can see she is now mounting her gear and ready to attack me, but Hanji moves faster than her. Hanji grabs Mikasa and swung her away from here. I can hear her curse and I see her struggling away from Hanji’s strong grip.

“Hey,” I whisper. “Get a grip brat,” I strike my blade above his nape prudently. He yelps in pain. “Brat please, don’t make me do this,” My voice cracks. _Please come back._ He screams again. He slowly raises himself. His regeneration was complete. He rampages again, smashing himself from tree to tree and all I can do is to hold firm onto my blade that is struck into him. He charges, attack relentlessly, gradually losing himself. He stops for a second, his hands fly towards his nape as if realizing there was something on his most vital part and due to reflexes I evade and mount towards another tree. It is a full force blow and loses his hand in the process, he hardens his nape right before he hit it.He charges again, ready to smash himself to another tree. He screams again, it is a scream telling us he already surrendering himself to his Titan-body, letting that physique made out of thin air controls him. It is painful.

I am ready to charge; still these thoughts are still running through my head, should I do it? Or shouldn’t? The question is: _Can I do it? Can I really do that favor of yours?_

It was in the middle of the night, we were outside and sat on the grass, stargazing, counting stars conversing to each other like it was just an another night together, but this was before the ‘Titan Eradication Plan’ the most crucial and important expedition of our legion.

“Levi,” he spoke with no honorifics and when he addressed me like that, he was serious. “If I went berserk during this mission before _it_ happens, please do it. Kill me.” This was my last conversation with him before this operation.

The night was icy. The stars are luminous it was like it was enticing me to catch them.

“Hey Levi, please look at me.” His hand touched my face and I looked at him. Those green eyes always spoke with me. “Will you do it?” he asked again. I will look again the night sky, but he jerked his hand and faced me to him. I saw again those eyes, waiting for an answer and all I can do was glance downward. He then removed his grip from my jaws.

“Damn, brat,” that was all I could say. He just chuckled.

I sighed, “That was a very difficult question and you know that, _brat,”_ he laughed like I told him a joke. “It was like you told me and kill myself,” I finally said.

“That wasn’t I meant,” there’s a crack in his voice. He rested his head on my shoulder and every time he done that, he is taking a refuge or a place to hide his tears.

“Just be honest, Eren,” I stroke his dark brown hair. His hair felt like satin and there was dampness on my shirt. “Don’t drool on me,” and here I am again trying to make him laugh.

“Let me just drool on you again,” he fake a laugh and instantly he sobbed.

I gently pushed his head on my chest, gently brushing his hair down to his nape, “Anytime,” He then wrapped his arms around my waist so tightly telling me he was in pain. I heard him sniffle and sob again. I felt his chest rising and falling, gasping for air just to breathe and then sobbed again. “Just cry as long as you like, you brat,”

 He wasn’t crying because he will die, this brat never afraid of dying, he already embraced the reaper. He was crying because of his dreams, big dreams. Afraid it will shatter. Afraid it will never become the reality he expected. Afraid, that he made the wrong choice, _again._ Afraid the world will forever be forsaken from humans. Afraid that they – we – will never see its gloriousness and beauty. He was afraid that everything is all ended in vain.

I smoothed his hair and gently brushed my lips onto his head and he embraced me more tightly than before, flooding his eyes with grief. I rested my hand on his back gently stroking it.

“I am so weak, aren’t I,” he muffled against my chest.

“Those who told themselves are weak are the strongest and strong people always tend to cry. Only the weak can’t shed a tear and it’s a pity,” He looked at me, astonished and smiled, it was a heartfelt smile with tears escaping from his eyes and it was my hand, having its own mind caressed his cheeks and wipe the tears from his eyes and planted a kiss on his forehead. My lips slowly moved in between of his brows, down to the bridge of his nose and kiss it. Slowly, my lips moved to his mouth and pressed his lips with mine and let it linger there and kiss him. He then smiled against my mouth and he wound his arms around my neck, deepening the kiss and I tasted his grief.

Eren cried in pain as if the rain is like knives are stabbing him. It is raining quite long now and being in that formed, he is fueled by sunlight. His stamina will deprive soon. This is actually a good chance because he can revert now as a human, but no, it wasn’t that easy. There is a smoke radiating from his Titan-formed body and this kind of scene is very familiar.

“Levi!” Hanji calls me, alarmed.“Cut Eren from his Titan body now! He is hardening himself!” Hanji orders me. I am startled for a moment; this is what he is _talking_ about. I hurry myself, fired the hooks onto his shoulder, but the hooks didn’t penetrate through. Damn, the hardening process is on his shoulder and any minute it will reach the nape.

_“Levi, I once read in my father’s journal that I was injected with a coordinate ability. It was like I can control the other titans. If this coordination ability no longer sensed any titans, I would go berserk and if my stamina slowly deprived my hardening ability will take over me. So before it will happen, please slice me off. I know I am being selfish and this is very difficult for you, but I rather choose to be sliced than to stay on my own carcass.”_

_“Would you live then? If I cut you off?”_

_And you just smiled._

Damn, brat always like this! Damn, damn! I reel over the nearest tree, mount myself onto it. I now aim to his nape, fire the hooks and it went through! I glide myself, consuming much gas to be faster, I grab my blades, ready to cut that part. My feet land on his shoulder, I am ready to rip his flesh, one meter lengthwise and ten centimeters across. My blades penetrate through and it is by reflex and instinct that moved my hands, but still lessen the force to cut hard. Eren’s upper body falls, I immediately supported him from falling, but his lower part is still connected. His Titan body falls to the ground and I tried to sever that part that is connected to his lower body and it is half in vain, his leg is stuck and it has already crystallized. I grab another blade, pounding hard on his crystallized feet.

“Just…” Eren says softly.

“Reserved your strength you selfish brat! I got this,” Pounding harder than before, and the blade breaks again.

“Cut… it… off…” he says slowly

“What?! Cut your leg?! Don’t shit with me!” I grab another blade, it is the last one.

He laughs weakly, “It... grow… or… will… here… crystallized… forever,”

“That’s much better than cutting your leg off,” I say, pounding the crystal as the blade dulls.

“Don’t’… be.. sel… fish…” he says slowly losing his consciousness and my heart races with anxiety, nervousness and mostly _fear._

“Hey, don’t die on me!” I shout and I shut my eyes closed and cut his legs. He falls into my arms and he gives a short cry and he _smiles_. A smile of contentment and I don’t like that kind of smile, a smile like that at a time like this.

“Thank… you… Levi,” he then closes his eyes and a huge part of me dies. It was like someone has turned that great switch off and makes the time stop.

“HEY YOU BRAT! HEY YOU DAMN BRAT! OPEN YOUR EYES!” I say, tapping his cheeks as water drops constantly on his face and I am sure that water doesn’t come from the sky.

His titan body is already evaporating into the sky and his severed legs are joining the evaporating process. No, his feet aren’t joining the evaporating process; his titan body is absorbing him. I frantically grabbed him away and hold him tightly, tightly and more tightly and caged him around my arms. Once I saw that familiar emission of vapor, I frantically covered his severed feet with my hands. Maybe it will stop from evaporating. Maybe it will save him. Maybe the absorption process will stop. Maybe –

“Let go Levi,” Hanji said calmly. I was startled. I didn’t hear her coming here. I looked around and I saw everyone, grief was stricken on to their faces. Mikasa lost her balance and knelt on the ground. Armin comforted Mikasa. Jean –

“Let go Levi, your hands are burning,” Hanji spoke again with that same tone, calm and soft but I didn’t listen. If this mere covering can stop him from disappearing even it will cost me an arm, my legs I would gladly sacrifice it. I don’t care anymore, just please, live on.

_Eren, please open your eyes. Please Eren, hear me out. Please live on. Please stay. Please don’t leave me alone._

_The rain stopped and it shifts into my eyes. They said there’s a rainbow after the rain. So I hope, I wished, I plead that after this rain, there’s a rainbow that awaits me._

****

**_New World._ **

The gentle breeze enveloped me and I inhaled deeply, that fresh, briny tang scent of the sea, the smell of fishes that made sneeze, but still, I liked it because it is the scent of freedom. The seagulls roamed the vast sky. I sometimes asked myself, why do those birds fly in the sky. What is their reason to flap their wings, though this world is empty? Then an idea caught me, there’s more to what I see and it was that brat who made me understand the beauty of this world. That selfish brat gave me a reason to seek more of this reality.

The rolling waves pounded the rocks as if it is one of its greatest enemies, but still the sea was calm and gentle, majestic yet quavering. It was vast and it seems endless, it was stretched from all directions just like how that brat told his stories. It was still clear in my mind the eagerness in his voice and the excitement on his face whenever he got the chance to talk about the outside world. Even it was banned he never stop yearning to see this world. The world that once forsook from us had been now shared with us. It was all thanks to him.

I walked by the shore, feeling the gentle waves stroke my bare feet. The gentle breeze that never failed to greet me and never forgot to tousle my hair. Over the horizon, the waves are rolling on the surface of the grand sea, the place where the sea and sky meet and where you can see the sun drowned in the horizon, casting the sea with its orange haze, reflecting the moving sea to its color. It’s my favorite time, no, _our¸_ favorite time of the day.

“Captain!” he called me out. He was waving and gestured me to come. I walked towards him as he was seated on our front porch. His dark brown hair was playing with the breeze and he was cast by the sun’s radiant haze.

“That was some deep thought, huh. That’s why you forgot me to invite to Mr. Sun’ssoon-setting down,” he teased me and spread his arms like a child wanting to be carried.

“Just feeling the sea. It is still beautiful as I saw it for the first time,”I explained, I turned my back and knelt, he then put his arms around just above my shoulder blades and crossed his hands to secure himself and his body fell on my back, I bent my knee slightly to reach and straight my arms back and I gently take his weight onto my arms, I joined my hands and interlocked my fingers to secure him and I slowly raised him and stood cautiously.

We trod towards the sea and he cheered and put his hands in the sky and I lost my balance and we fell on the sand. He laughed heartily and I carried him again on my back. He still cheered as we walk towards the sea, but now he didn’t spread his hand onto the sky.

“You know why I was so keen to see the sea?” He spoke, not for the first time.

“Why?” I asked

“Because you are like the sea!” he said enthusiastically, he held tighter that I can’t breathe and I choked. He hastily loosened his firm grip and he chuckled again.

The sounds of the waves were more audible that I put him down prudently and sat beside him. The sand was so soft that it was like a very big bed.

“The sea and you shared some qualities that best describe both of you. So collected, so calm, yet so dangerous,” I just remain silent and looked straight through his emerald eyes. He returned the gaze and grinned and my chest ached, I was captivated again.

“Your striking feature is your eyes. Do you know that?” I was taken aback because that was the last feature I was proud of. I was caught off guard again by this brat.

“Are you picking a fight, you shitty brat?” My forehead creased and it was followed by the narrowing of my eyes.

He put his index finger in between of my brows “ _Shitty_ brat, that’s nostalgic,” he smiled. “Did you forget that you’re like the sea? Your eyes are like the sea. Whenever the sunrays find its way into your eyes, it changes its color. It turns to gold, to green. It was like how the sinking sun dyed  the sea with auburn streaks, like how the rising sun turn it to blue when it is black, just like how the midday sun, dyed it to emerald. You understand now, and it was a compliment. You have the most beautiful eyes I have ever seen. A better hue compared to Commander Erwin and Armin, so don’t crease that forehead and narrowed those eyes. I want to see it, more and more,” He removed his index finger from my forehead and I was awestruck from his words that my heart was racing.

“And oh, hey, thank you for always carrying me on your back, Levi,” he smiled and I regained my composure. (Hopefully)

“You liar, you said it will grow back,” I glanced at the sun, slowly sinking down. Its radiant light loomed down the sea.

“I don’t know that my titan powers will vanish just like that,” he let a short laugh.

“I’m sorry,” I spoke softly, that it was like I was wheezing. I dug my nails on the sand and shoved some of my palms, feeling the softness and roughness and streamed it down and watched the grains poured slowly like in an hour glass. I was startled when the waves tickled my feet and it was a nice feeling yet I felt sadder because Eren can’t feel this kind of sensation. It was my fault in the first place, why his legs were cut off. Those bittersweet memories came rushing to me once more.

“That’s my choice after all. Don’t blame yourself,” he comforted me, touched my hand and gently squeezed it.

“And I would never get tired of saying this: Thank you for staying Eren. I will di—,” he gently puts his index finger in between of my lips and hushed me.

“I stayed because you called me out. I heard you because I love you,” he smiled, grabbed my hand and held it. He put it in his chest and I felt his heart hammering against his chest or maybe it was mine. I can’t even tell.

“Let’s stay like this forever,” he added. He knew there’s no forever in this reality sooner or later we will leave this reality. We will become ashes that will distribute on every land, on every sea, everywhere, but _…_ “As long as I’m with you, forever is our reality,” I squeezed back his hand and held it tightly. I was now aware that both of our hearts hammered against our chest and it wasn’t annoying it is _something_.

“And you are my very existence Levi, my very reason why I chose to stay and I will never regret this choice I made,” He said and he pressed gently, his forehead into mine and his words made me smile and something damp was strolling down to my cheeks.

“Hey, you’re crying,” he teased and his lips kissed the tears away.

“No, my eyes are just sweating,” I denied even it’s already clear and he laughed and pressed his lips onto mine and then he moved his lips into my ear and softly, soothingly he whispered, “You are forever in my life. There would never be a day that I would stop loving you. Even if this heart of mine stops beating it will still call your name. Even my breathed ragged it will only speak your name because you are my everything, Levi. Not today, not tomorrow, not even a century can stop me from loving you. You deserved more than an ‘I love you,’ and I will never get tired of loving you.” He then caged me with his arms, embracing me so tightly. I felt secure again and this time I’m the one taken refuge in his arms while my eyes is flooded with happiness I can’t even comprehend. You gained your reality and I lost mine, I did prefer to give my reality to you which is forever and forever isn’t still enough to show and tell my love for you.

**\- END -**


End file.
